


disappearing waves

by daddymichaelis



Category: Love Live! Sunshine!!, 声優 | Seiyuu RPF
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, in the setting of corn date, theyre so in love.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-24 17:20:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15635220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daddymichaelis/pseuds/daddymichaelis
Summary: shall I tell the disappearing waves I can still keep trying?anshk hurt/comfort inspired by sora mo kokoro mo hareru kara (*´∀｀*人*´∀｀*)





	disappearing waves

Anju trailed along the sidewalk, staring down at the cracks in the pavement and occasionally slowing down to poke the toe of her shoe into the bigger holes. Tonight was supposed to be fun, but her mind was anywhere except the girl pulling her by the hand. It wasn’t on purpose, and she hoped Shuka would understand.

But she just couldn’t help it. Despite performing in countless concerts, she had a particular feeling of dread for tomorrow’s. Tomorrow, with her closest friends ever and in front of their largest crowd yet, was going to be busy from sunrise to sunset, but that wasn’t what she was dreading. While on stage, there were so many opportunities to mess up, especially with so many watching eyes, and knowing that she would inevitably fuck up  _ something  _ and humiliate herself made her want to crawl away in bed and stay there for the next few years. The thought put a lump in her throat, and sent her stomach coiling up in knots. 

Eventually, they stopped walking, and she hazily looked up to meet Shuka’s gaze. 

They were both in their relaxing, comfy clothes, and Anju was sure that she looked like a messy wreck, but when she looked at Shuka, it was hard to stop, even though they wore almost identical outfits. Underneath a bright street lamp, Shuka’s long eyelashes casted shadows on her soft cheeks, and her hair had a glossy shine to it. Her eyes were narrowed just a bit, and her brows were furrowed in concern at Anju’s silence, but there was always this excited glitter in the warm honey of her irises. It was a little comforting, but it also made Anju feel a little more alone in her struggle. 

“What’s the matter?” Shuka squeezed her hand as she spoke, and without meaning to, Anju squeezed back.

“Nothing.” She couldn’t always be pessimistic-- she couldn’t ruin fun parties and outings and dates all the time just because she was sad. She didn’t have the right to make all the attention be on her, and she wasn’t deserving of it even if she did.

“Come on. Really.” 

Anju’s silence was her answer, so Shuka came up to her and wrapped her arms around her waist, resting her chin on Anju’s shoulder. 

It felt like it was all bubbling up then, with Shuka’s arms around her, but she still bit down hard on her lip to keep it down as best she could, curling her arms to her chest and hiding away in her neck. Anju sniffled at first, but when Shuka started rubbing circles on her back, it was impossible to keep it in, and she cried into the collar of her baggy shirt. 

Anju always felt so selfish, she felt like it was too selfish to ask for help and that it was too selfish to cry and that it was too selfish to take time for herself, so she just pushed on and on until it was hopeless to try and keep going. Feeling Shuka hold her so gently made so much gratitude and love well up inside her that she had to cry, cry because she was upset at herself for doubting Shuka, and cry because she was disappointed in herself for being a failure of a leader. Everyone else was so much braver than she was, and stronger than she was, and funnier than she was, and prettier than she was, it felt like there was no quality she had that at least one of her group members didn’t outshine her in. What was the point in trying when she wouldn’t ever be good enough?

A harder sob wracked her body, and in response, Shuka held her tighter, kissing the side of her head. She stayed quiet and let Anju cry as much as she wanted. They were on a quiet, empty street, and she wasn’t in any rush to get anywhere. She didn’t mind standing there for hours if it meant that her girlfriend would feel better. 

“Talk to me about it,” Shuka eventually prompted softly, her hand moving from Anju’s back to her hair, gently petting through the locks that had fallen out of her bun.

“It’s just… I’m, just…” Anju swallowed hard and pulled away a bit, wiping her teary eyes with the backs of her hands. “I can’t do this. I can’t lead a group when I’m not good enough.” 

It always made Shuka’s throat clench up when she said those things, but she just shook her head, nuzzling into the crook of Anju’s neck, breathing out slowly. “You’re more than enough.” 

Silence was her answer again, but this time Shuka pulled away and held tight to both of Anju’s hands, staring into her shining eyes with a comforting smile. “And, besides, guess what?”

Anju pulled one hand away, covering her mouth and her red nose, blinking hard to get rid of the rest of her tears. “What?” It was hard to not smile, even if just a teeny tiny bit, when Shuka smiled at her like that and made her insides go from anxious curls to a fluttery, melty mess. 

“I think you’re perfect, and amazing, and outstanding, and awesome, and breathtaking, and extraordinary, and…” Shuka was starting to run out of adjectives, so she fell into a fit of embarrassed giggles, leading Anju by the hand back in the direction of their hotel, completely pushing their original destination out of her mind. She laced their fingers, and for a moment held their hands tight to her heart. She hoped Anju could feel how much she adored her. “And I’ll always be right here with you.”

Feeling the beating of Shuka’s heart calmed her down more than anything else could, and knowing that they were in this together and that she would always have her back made her want to start crying again. Anju leaned forward and smushed her damp cheek against Shuka’s shoulder, letting out a soft sigh.

This wasn’t a permanent fix, but she wasn’t worried, as long as she always had Shuka to lend her some of her happiness. 

**Author's Note:**

> first time writing a legit love live fic, and its a seiyuu one at that... lol anchan and shuka are really in love and i love that they get to love each other!   
> akours.tumblr.com


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